I finished putting Luce together last Wednesday and got to peek at our proof copy from the printers this morning. We'll have all of the copies back by Thursday, but they said we could get them as early as Wednesday. I secured both covers along with seven other pictures and a total of three poems (In My Place, Dollar Bill [They made me change the spelling.], and No Sleep for the Loving). I will be reading all three works on Friday, starting at 7:30 pm at Paradigm the Coffeehouse. Just thought I would let you all know the specifics.

It's that time of year again, the Luce (a campus-wide literary megazine) submissions were due last week and today was the judging day. I submitted 12 of my latest poems and I know for sure one of them made it (Dollar Bill) and one was on the high possibility side of the spectrum (I don't remember which one). I missed the entire photography judging session but I have around 4 for sure that will be published. One will be the back cover and one on the front cover so that it is very exciting.

For the most part though it was really hard to sit there and listen to people judge my poems as they came around (I only got to be there for 4 of them). For the poems they said no to, when I read through them with a strangers eyes I realized my work wasn't what it used to me, and isn't what it could be. I've been so happily caught up in my relationship with Travis that any poem I write seems to be a cliche romance piece. As much as I hate cliches that's how I'm feeling right now. As a person, I'm content with that, but as a poet it's killing me. It's not that I want my poetry to be liked by all, it's that I want to break away from this cliche I'm stuck in. I'm not really in the mood for writing any poetry after that whole meeting thing.


That's the important news, other than that I graduate a month and one day from today. Then I'll work most of the summer, hopefully at night so I can be with my man during the day and my last week working will be the first week of August. The second week it's camping, then a week of nothing (which will probably result in working for Dad to get more money anyways) and I'm thinking that last week of August I'll probably be moving in to my dorm!

Alright so first I just wanted to apologize for not posting an Deviations lately. I've got about five or six of them floating around in my head but the second I touch a pen they disappear.

~~School~~
It's a new semester now and it's brought about a medley of emotions. Just to start things off chipper, I'll tell you all that I am taking a painting class, specifically oil paints so come May/ June I should have some of those posted up here. Our first project is a Georgia O'Keeffe like painting. It's pretty exciting because we're making our own cavases so I'm actually having to be creative with something other than words. On the downside, I lost my scholarship so I'm trying to scrape together the money to pay for this semester. I've decided to take Accounting II, which is just plain silly because I got a C in the first accounting.

~~Love~~
For those of you more focused on relationships, Brad and I are no longer. The night we broke up I was fairly stressed about it wondering if I made the right choice, but I can see now that I have. I'm currently dating Travis and as cliche as it sounds, it seems like with him the world is more perfect, more precious and that this is the way that love should be. It's actually kind of sickening how cliche we are. Seven days after we started going out we were in a car accident (No one was killed, Potter has a torn ACL or something of that nature, Chippy and Jonesy both broke their feet, Travis probably broke his arm but he was too stubborn to get it checked out he can still use it so I guess we're not overly concerned about it, I got a huge bruise on my thigh and a black eye). It was just like a movie when we walked away from the accident, holding hands supporting each other, fire trucks and ambulances in the midground and smoke and flood lights in the background. The next day when I was working he brought me flowers (He does this randomly, it's so sweet.). Probably the most cliche things about us are that we finish each others sentences quite frequently and will argue for quite some time about who loves the other more. It's hard to explain but don't worry, there will be a poem or three about it all.

~~Work~~
Still working at the bank, I'm sure you can sense my enthusiasm. (I am grateful that I have a job, don't get me wrong.) But I also picked up a job at Deb, a clothing store in our mall. I've discovered a love for fashion and am possibly going to be drawing some of my own designs as well as photographing our modeling event that we have coming up.

Other than that I can't really think of anything right now, it's just pure madness trying to get everything thing in order. Doesn't help that Travis is always on my mind. *sighs*

Well it's one of those things where my life is just balancing itself out.

Within the past month I've actually gained and kept up with more responsibilities and even took on some of them voluntarily. It's weird to think of me actually getting up to work at Six AM if you know me or watching my sisters. It's made me pretty happy that I'm actually able to help run the house. I mean yeah, I'm not the main person but I've been doing quite a bit around here that's making me feel like maybe I really could handle living on my own. I actually am starting to like cleaning but I'll never admit that to my parents or I would have a negative rating on the social scale.

And then there's the not so good. The worst of it is that I don't get to see or hear my Brad for another 11 days. Sure you probably think that this is no big deal, but when you see them every day, and then suddenly they're gone, out of the country and you can't hear their voice, you start to lose it. I'm always wondering if he's okay and wishing he would come back. The next worse is this whole money issue. I'm sure a lot of people can agree that there are way too many financial issues out there. Mine are fairly small compared to most but on a college budget, it's more than I can handle. And yes I have a job, but let's face it, it's not the greatest. I'm supposed to be getting a raise any day now, too bad I won't be getting it on Friday's paycheck because I could really use it. I've also applied and am still looking for another job. I hate this it's stressful. Although it's not nearly as stressful as trying to figure out what to do with my life. I've made zero progress in figuring out what I want to do for a career.

YAY!!! Brawl FINALLY came out over here!!! I'm ultra-excited, I only got to play two rounds so far which kind of sucks...but there will be plenty more chances.

In other news...about 3 weeks ago my lovely little Neon got hit...again...with body work coming out to be $1909.22. Then that Monday (accident was on Saturday) the poor baby started smoking...turns out part of the radiator snapped off. Fandamntastic. Well they declared the car totaled so Dad and I took out the stereo and speakers and let them haul the thing off. They sent the check late last week...giving me $2000 to put into my account...sweetness.

On the same day as my accident, my boyfriend got a new truck...heh heh heh. That day my boyfriend was driving me, my two little sisters and my mom to my dad's surprise 40th birthday party. For some reason he left the truck out of 4 wheel drive and drove on the icy road. We slid left, then to the right almost in the ditch, back to the left, some strange force of God came down and saved his ass as we were on 2 wheels and put the truck back down on all 4 wheels facing the direction we just came. I clenched my fists and said nothing until about a good hour later.

However during this time I had a rental car, a sleek 2008 silver Pontiac Grand Prix. Hell yes. About a week after I got the rental car (you can probably guess where this is going...) he backed into my pretty rental leaving a sizable dent in the rear quarter panel...where the gas cap was.

Wow do I hate driving after all of this crap.

On the bright side, I'm gettin my new car tomorrow (2000 Ford Focus SE) and I can't wait. Perhaps I'll be able to make it more than 3 weeks without an accident...I sure as hell hope so.

Other than that I've been stuck working with co-workers who hate me and going to school and actually, of late at least, studying. My one professor has successfully managed to make me hate poetry thanks to forcing to write one every other day with an assigned form every time. Let me say it again, as a free-verse writer....I hate poetry. Damn him. So you can blame him if my poems suck balls...because I'm pretty sure they do.

I could really use some nice spring weather. No more snow please...it's too damn cold. If anyone wants snow, feel free to drive up here and get it...we have plenty to spare.

Anyhow, have a fantastic day and I'll probably update this again in another 3 months.