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Oh Sweetie, just shut your face
I would love to see you in my place.
You say you're poor
yet have more money than a whore.
Your car sucks
but it's worth a couple thousand bucks.
Your bosses hate you at your job,
it would help if you weren't such a knob.
You sit and freak if you get a B,
then laugh at me when I get a D.
I work ten times harder than you ever did
and raise my sister like she's my own kid.
I work two jobs and have no money
to pay my bills, it's not even funny.
Any day now my car will die.
All your bitching is such a lie.
Oh Sweetie just shut your face,
I would love to see you in my place.
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Author's Comments

Just remember, someone always has it worse than you.

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:iconterribletreasure:
Interesting message. Maybe consider rewriting without a rhyming scheme and then you could mess around with more exciting diction like changing 'kid' to 'child' because obviously the voice in this poem cares about thier sister and 'kid' sometimes has a negative conotation like snot nosed kid, you know what I mean? Also maybe turn it around, to where the voice in the poem finds out the person the poem is adressed to has an eating disorder, or a secret, and then its really true, the message that is. Just suggestions. The flow here is wonderful!

--
A poem is a naked person... Some people say that I am a poet.
Bob Dylan

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December 11, 2008
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